Every Wednesday I get together with my three closest girlfriends and we have a little wine and chat about life. Let’s call these girls A, B, and C.

A is a recently divorced, attractive girl who is in grad school. She was married for 6 years, spending the majority of this time in and out of different grad programs hopping from one degree to another, her mind about what to major in next changing like the wind, always starting a “new program” and never actually finishing. Her husband left her abruptly because he “just didn’t want to be married” anymore.

Girl B is a very feminine, attractive stay-at-home mom and wife to a wealthy husband. She dislikes her predicament because she feels that she could surely “do something better with her life”. B was fired from an office job months ago and this makes her very sad. Because of this, B feels as though people judge her. B is always trying to figure out how she can start a new career somewhere else but nothing ever works out.

Girl C is a beautiful, competitive triathlete. She is married, has a child, and is also jobless. Like A, she is in grad school, and although she is more focused and successful in terms of a career path, she is engrossed in “intellectualism” and obsessed with her body to the point of an eating disorder. Her child is an obnoxious brat because she never disciplines him or spends any time with him because she’s so busy working out at the gym and studying all the time.

None of these girls have jobs. None of them have figured out what they want to do with their lives. All of them are past the age of 30 and all of them depend on men for money, a painfully caustic notion because they spend hours talking about how they “don’t need them”. Ironically, the only girl with financial independence and a job is also the only one who can admit that she needs men in her life. That is Girl D (me). I do not have children and I am single (this is not my preference). Even though I work a full-time job from 9-5 every day, it is not my primary focus. My primary focus is reproductive and everything I do is for my future baby.

I stay very fit so that when I finally meet someone I’m compatible with who wants to impregnate me, I can physically handle the 9 months of carrying a child and labor with ease. I make sure my life is stable. I meditate nightly before bed, but I also choose friends who are feminine and calm. Although they aren’t perfect, for the most part they are unselfish, loving and kind. I could rely on them for extra support if I ever had a child.

I’m sure most of you reading this probably think I need to get a life and that it’s ridiculous how obsessed I am with something that doesn’t even exist yet. But what you don’t realize is that I used to be like A, B, and C: starting grad school, never finishing it, starting a new degree somewhere else and never finishing that one either, trying to “find my passion” and failing miserably until I woke up one day and discovered that it’s all a waste of time. God did not design the female brain for career hunting. It is no mystery that female intelligence is completely different from a male’s. Women excel in areas where men are weak (multitasking in particular). Nature designed them to keep track of many children at one time. A woman can bake cookies with one hand, spank a toddler with the other, and all while she’s got her eyes on kid #2 and #3 playing outside. Women have eyes in the back of their heads. Their intelligence is peculiar, innocent, and instinctual. It is not something that can be taught in schools. Women are curious, experimental, and like children, they absorb the world like a sponge. They want to learn how anything and everything works so that when their babies have a question about something, they will always have an answer. Intelligent women don’t need to make A’s in school to prove to everyone how smart they are. Intelligent women do not compete with men in terms of IQ or academic successes because they know the only part of her intelligence that matters is the one she sees reflected in her offspring’s successes.

Telling a woman that she shouldn’t make babies her primary focus in life is like telling a man to stop thinking about sex. It cannot be helped. Sure, she might make an effort to try to make it look like she’s doing something with her life, but her true meaning is always going to be buried in the back of her mind somewhere, which is exactly why girls A, B, and C will never succeed.

If you’re a woman who is reading this and still can’t figure out “what to do with your life”. The answer to happiness and fulfillment may be right under your nose.

If you’re single and/or do not have children yet but want them I suggest prepping your body for labor and birth. Work out a lot. Eat the right way. Be as skinny and fit as possible. Learn as much as you can about the world. Be prepared to answer all the questions your children will have, no matter how big or small.

If you have children, pay attention to them. Put them first before anything else. Play with them outside. Bond with them. Make sure they are happy and healthy. You should be the most important thing in their lives and they should be the most important thing in yours.